A good conversation is amazing.
But, as with most items you value and treasure, good conversation is only achieved with some work, effort and sacrifice.
We’ve compiled a few, if 10 is a few, suggestions to stimulate a good conversation. Some may seem obvious, but we all fall short of incorporating all 10 together, which we believe is a winning formula for an amazing conversation.
To state the obvious, it is imperative that you focus your attention on the person you are talking to. We agree, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to not multi-task, considering the very fast pace which we need to maintain just to stay in the same spot, but the reward of connection far outweighs the time ‘lost’.
Look the word up, it will help you to remember not to do it. It’s acceptable when you are the Pope, but not good to pronounce, expound or dogmatically state your opinion, in a conversation. Rather, set your opinion aside and assume you have something to learn.
Ask open-ended questions
Starting your sentence with who, what, where, why, when or how is a magical opportunity to show your willingness to engage.
Go with the flow
Thoughts will race through your mind as the person is speaking and you can, at any time, interject. We suggest not doing that, rather let the thoughts come and go, and instead go with the flow of the conversation. Being open to the moment is far more exciting and useful than repeating what you already know.
If you don’t know, say you don’t know
Basically, talk should not be cheap. It’s sometimes a default to feel the need to offer an opinion when you don’t really have one, when instead an honesty answer fosters relationship.
Don’t equate your experience with theirs
Your loss or gain is not the same as theirs, their experience is not about you. If they share of an experience that is deeply moving, don’t share about your experience. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity.
Try not to repeat yourself
It’s fine when you are lecturing, but condescending in a conversation.
Stay out of the weeds
The weeds are the details which are unnecessary, superfluous and boring. It is what we are thinking when we wish someone would ‘forget the details’.
If your mouth is open, you are not learning. Here’s the painful truth, we mostly don’t listen with the intent to understand, rather, we listen with the intent to reply.
Finally, a good conversation is like a miniskirt, short enough to retain interest but long enough to cover the subject.
We, at Olgani, wish you much interest in other people and a life filled with amazing conversations.